Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?
I really can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me. Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?
A dung beetle goes into a bar and asks, "Yo, is this stool taken?"
Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"
Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
THINGS YOU DON'T SEE IN THE NEWS!